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Elwood: What kind of music do you usually have here?
Claire: Oh, we got both kinds. We got country *and* western.
jake: what kind of music do you usually have here?
barmaid: oh, we have both kinds: country AND western.
(Jake is released on parole and is receiving his property) Corrections Officer: "One Timex digital watch, broken. One unused prophylactic. (disgusted, picks something up with his pen) One 'soiled'. One black suit jacket, one pair black suit pants. One hat, black. One pair of sunglasses. $23.07. Sign here."
Jake (running from the cops with Elwood): "First you trade the Cadillac for a microphone, then you lie to me about the band, now you're gonna put me right back in the joint!" Elwood: "They're not gonna catch us. We're on a mission from God."
Jake (in a restaurant, sidles up to the adjacent table): "How much for the leettle girl? The women. How much for the women?" Father: "What?" Jake: "Your women. I, I, I want to buy your women - the little girl, your daughters. Sell them to me. Sell me your children!" Father: "Maître d'!"
Jake: "Bring me four fried chickens, and a Coke." Mrs. Murphy: "You want chicken wings, or chicken legs?" Jake: "Four fried chickens, and a Coke." Elwood: "And some dry white toast, please."
Mystery Woman (holding Jake at gunpoint): "...You miserable slug! You think you can talk your way out of this? You betrayed me!" Jake: "No, I didn't. Honest!... I-I ran out of gas! I had a flat tire! I didn't have enough money for cab fare! My tux didn't come back from the cleaners! An old friend came in from out of town! Someone stole my car! There was an earthquake! A terrible flood! Locusts! IT WASN'T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD!!"
Elwood: "It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark... and we're wearing sunglasses." Jake: "Hit it."